Eater of Minds

The gang goes hunting for sea monsters. They set sail for the beach on Hama, which they recall had a group of cultists on it. The cultists are very friendly and ask the heroes if they have heard of their god, the Eater of Minds. Mallory ignores them and offers to swap books. When the priests refuses and says that the book may only be read by true believers, Mallory turns him into a duck and then sics his hired thug Hobbes on the other cultists. Livius looks on in shock, Rho in horror, and Sora with disinterest. The cultists are all summarily murdered while Mallory looks through the book. Mallory becomes translucent and immediately begins choking on air.

Rho then starts acting funny. A tentacled beast emerges from the waters and charms Rho into beating up Sora (with clear reluctance) and Mallory (with enthusiasm). Mallory is set upon by sharks in the water as he cannot breathe air and the Eater of Minds manages to afflict Sora with the same disease, which is revealed later, after the heroes (?) chase after the beast. The duck cultist dives into the Eater of the Minds’s mouth and gets eaten, sacrificing himself as a slave of the aboleth’s powers.

They hunt the beast across the waters as Sora too begins choking on air. Livius and Hobbes begin rowing to the ship when the water-bound Sora and Mallory spot their quarry some 200 feet below. As they formulate their plans, sharks start surrounding Hobbes and Livius’s boat, making them wish they had a bigger boat.

A great white sperm whale then emerges from the depths, and Hobbes really wishes they had a bigger boat.

Sora goes toe to toe with the Eater of Minds, but ends up floating in her own blood in the water. Mallory goes down to save her. Just kidding, Mallory goes down to kill the Eater of the Minds, manages to do so, grabs the octagonal disc key that the group was searching for, and surfaces, ignoring Sora.

After the white whale smashes the row boat and takes a bite outta Hobbes (woof!), Livius turns the white whale into a goldfish! How polite. He saves Sora and the gang reunites on the ship.

They get to Hama, realizing that Sora and Mallory will continue taking acid damage as long as they are not in water, and Thea, the shaman, heals Sora, and Rho, realizing what spell she used, also heals Mallory.

Eater of Bones

The gang then goes hunting the kraken! Captain Barty announces this to the crew and cries out, “Tonight, we die!” and Salty Sabrina cheers the crew on, excited for battle.

A huge oaken golem creature steps out of a rip in spacetime on the ship. “Get this damn cat out of here!” he shouts and tosses Casimir, in cat form, onto the ship, before returning through the portal. Casimir surely has a lot of stories to recount but instead just hisses at everyone.\

The heroes begin their kraken battle! It is very exciting, so exciting it will bleed into the next episode! The kraken likes to blast with lightning and tries to eat people but doesn’t do it so good. But it’s good at basically everything else! It can only miss with its attacks if it rolls a 1! Except Rho, miss her with that bullshit 3. But the gang is doing a surprisingly good job!

Rho avoids her fear of water by flying high above, precariously close to the water creature that could easily drag her into her worst nightmare.

Mallory finally makes a friend and debuts with his gentleman caller, a demon from hell! Oh nevermind, just another employee.\

Livius would like to build a snowman and does, and his name is Luigius Livius Anastasius Cratius and is a good wizard! If only Abe could see him now. Finally summons a friend that isn’t just a dead enemy.

The pod squad debuts! Sora, Hobbes, Casimir, our whalerogues singing all the songs from their latest album Jagged Little Krill:

• I Want It That Cray(fish)
• Watch the Foam
• WAP (Wet Ass Pufferfish)
• Bananafish Pancakes
• Srfr Boi
• thank u, nets
• Careless Whisker(ed Catfish)
• Old Drown Rowed (featuring Billy Ray Cyrus)
• C.R.E.A.M. (Crabs Rule Everything Around Me)
• Liquid Swords
• Go Your Own Wave
• Octopus’s Garden

Unchanged from last time, except you got one of the discs! Good job! No milestone, sorry! If it’s not a disc, then what could it be? Maybe you just don’t get one and life is meaningless!

Pod Squad, Continued

The heroes were dismayed to find that Nahk had not returned, but were glad to know that at least he did not return inside the stomach of a Kraken, which I mean what are the chances of that?

Mallory’s questionable concentration leaves Sora stranded amid the whipping tentacles of the beast. At the last minute, just as the Kraken has made a meal out of Mallory’s gentleman caller and turns his attention to the floating Sora, Livius strafes the beast with fire blasts and ends its miserable life. Hobbes finds an octagonal disc, much like the one they recovered from the Aboleth.

The second key has been acquired. One more is left to go. As their ship is stranded in the sky, its sails in tatters, the crew pushes out the oars, waves hi to the merrows, gets spooked by a passing ghost ship all cheering for the Deathless One, and run into the fucking losers:

• The Grinner and a pair of redcap flunkies who get murdered immediately. He tries to go after the crew and tries to cast spells on everyone, but every passes! You’ve all surpassed him and that’s why he brought so much back up.
• The Oni that Mallory turned into a duck. He busts up Mallory pretty good but is soon turned into a duck again. Figures. But don’t worry because Father Eustace is gonna throw down and break him out of that duck prison (with a cone of cold that bloodies him). “Cool. Thanks.”
• Eustace is back and man, does he hate you guys. He rethinks using time stop and just cone of colds you guys twice, once at 9th level! What a jerk! And then he has the nerve to teleport!

Anyway, Eustace murders the redcap, Hobbes skewers another one, and Livius and Luigius one-two punch the Oni and the Grinner. Nice. Livius steals Cas’s kill basically. He really had him. The officers of the crew all make it out, barely.

Yikes, hard pass

Princess Roswyn isn’t with your shit and turns you all down. Sora fails to get an acceptable deal from her for the flying boats because she already gave you a flying ship, god, so needy.

The heroes just row to Jolos instead while the Admirable Effort is in Boatboy Bucephalus’s boaty hands.

Jolly Jolly Jolos

The heroes arrive at Jolos, finding themselves in a deep mire. They navigate the swamps and make it to a populated village, having avoided an abandoned one.

This island has everything:

• Snakes
• Pits
• Water
• Guys in trees
• Guys off trees
• Guys in mud
• A chief who has his mind read
• Diseases
• And a creep selling tadpoles and tiny fish luring young people deep into the swamp

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